(Un)requited Crushes and an (Un)named Kitten
by Arya3610
Summary: "I brought my new kitten to school hold her please while I kick this guys ass." Castiel is a punk with a kitten and Dean is a nerd with a crush (not first person, don't worry)


Dean Winchester closed his locker, leaned forward to rest his forehead against the cold metal and sighed quietly. Cas was late. Again. He knew he shouldn't have counted on Cas being on time, he rarely ever was, but he had hoped. Cas had seemed really excited on the phone last night, saying he couldn't wait to show Dean what he had bought. Dean definitely wasn't going to say no to him, whatever it was, even if it only meant seeing him for a few more minutes before school. Dean grumbled a little under his breath as he realized just how ridiculous that was. To be so happy for just a few extra minutes squeezed in before first period; Dean definitely had a crush, and it was getting out of hand. Dean sighed again, screwing his eyes shut tighter in embarrassment. "Getting" out of hand. His crush had been "out of hand" for a long while.

Castiel Novak had moved to Lawrence in the summer before first grade, carefully helping his parents pile cardboard boxes onto the weatherbeaten porch across the street from the Winchesters'. Despite Dean being loud where Cas quiet, Dean and Cas had immediately become best friends, exploring the woods behind Dean's house together, playing at the park together, eating lunch together; everything they did, they did together, sometimes with little Sammy toddling along behind.

As the years went on, they grew in different directions. Dean had grown in, becoming more introverted. He became shyer, developed interests in comic books and video games, and late night reading and gaming wore out his eyes to the point he had to get glasses. Castiel had done the opposite - growing out. He began rebelling against his extremely strict parents, wearing eyeliner and leather instead of sweaters and crosses, dyeing his hair, gaining a multitude of piercings and tattoos, and starting fights. Cas had turned into the schools resident "bad boy".

Yet, as different as the two were, they still somehow managed to fit together perfectly. Cas never changed his attitude toward Dean, staying as sweet and thoughtful as he always was, and in turn, Dean didn't treat him any differently than he had when they were in first grade, either. The only noticeable difference was of Cas gradually taking over the role of protector of Dean that Dean had maintained for the other boy through much of elementary school. Neither seemed to care either way, and they would lie side by side on Dean's bed, listening to anything from Taylor Swift to Metallica, sharing secrets, confiding fears, or sometimes just lying there, listening to the music until the album ended, then simply to the other breathing. Every new tattoo or piercing Cas got, Dean was always the first to see, and he was always the one to really understand the significance behind it. Every new comic book, game, or any kind of "geek" merchandise Dean got, Cas was always the first to know, listening intently to Dean's excited rambling about limited editions and cover art, even though it wouldn't surprise Dean a bit if Cas knew absolutely nothing about comics.

Of course, the fact that Castiel was amazingly attractive didn't hurt either. He had dark brown, nearly black, hair with bright blue ends that always looked adorably ruffled and supremely soft. He had a nice build, just a little shorter than Dean, lithe but strong, and -in theory of course- absolutely perfect for cuddling. His piercings were stunning, scattered all over, in his lip, ears, and eyebrows, glinting like stars in the light. Cas' tattoos, each placed with careful precision and chosen with extensive forethought, were immensely beautiful and nearly Dean's favorite, if not for his eyes. Castiel's eyes were breathtaking. They were blue, but 'blue' was such an insignificant word compared to the endless shades of Cas' eyes. Every day, every _emotion_ was a different hue. Anger showed in a dark ocean, nearly black before a storm. Happiness was the summer sky, cloudless and warm. Sadness looked like sapphires, deep and dark, shimmering slightly.

Yet attractive as Cas was, it wasn't why Dean fell so hard. Dean never felt fully _understood_ by anyone but Cas, never felt like anyone but Cas really _listened_ to him. Cas was always there for him, even when Dean himself didn't even realize he needed him. Dean wasn't even really sure exactly when he fell in love with Cas, simply realizing one day that he already was. They had been quietly listening to music, lying so close they were nearly touching, and Dean had realized that he would be content to just be there forever. Being next to Cas, music just barely loud enough to be heard over their combined breathing, just being _together_ , with his favorite person in the world; that was enough. That was all Dean really wanted.

Dean opened his eyes and took a breath. There was no point in dwelling over a stupid unrequited crush, especially when the subject of said crush hadn't even bothered coming to school today. He resolutely turned around, yelping when he was immediately two inches from the bright blue eyes he had just tried to get out of his head.

"Jesus, Cas!" Dean exclaimed. "Make some noise or something! How long have you been standing there?"

Castiel tilted his head to the side and smirked. "Hello, Dean. I was wondering how long it would take you to turn around." His smirk slid off his face, leaving a look of concern behind. "What were you sighing about? Are you alright?"

Dean blushed. "What? Uh, yeah, no, I'm fine. No sighing. Nope." _Dammit, he knows me too well, he's not gonna believe that! No one would believe that!_ "Uh, so anyway, what did you want to show me?"

Cas narrowed his eyes. He obviously knew Dean had changed the subject on purpose, but, _th_ _ank God,_ let it slide. Then Dean's distraction question clicked and Cas' eyes lit up with excitement. "You will not believe it! It's the cutest thing ever!"

Dean raised one eyebrow. "Even cuter than the stuffed bee I got you for your birthday?" He asked teasingly, feigning mock hurt.

"Dean, that and this are two entirely different things," Cas said, rolling his eyes. "But for the record, the stuffed bee is the cutest thing you have ever given me and even though I see it every day, it never gets less cute."

Dean blushed and cleared his throat. "If 'this and that are two different things', what is it?"

Cas glanced around before reaching into his beat-up black backpack and pulling out-

"Is that a cat?!"

"Dean, shh!" Cas hissed, holding the small black kitten in his cupped hands.

"Cas!" Dean whispered loudly, "You can't bring a cat to school! What if a teacher sees?!"

Cas looked down at it. "But Deeann," he pleaded, "he's not a cat, just a little kitten! And he's just so adorable! I couldn't leave him at home, all alone and scared. Look!" He thrust the kitten at the other boy, Dean's eyes crossing as he tried to keep it in focus. "How could you say no to those eyes?"

Dean and the kitten stared into each other's eyes. Dean blushed as he realized the kitten's eyes were the same color as his. _Is t_ _hat t_ _he same as saying he can't say no to my eyes?_ he wondered. _No, don't be stupid, Winchester, you are reading way too much into that. But it is pretty cute..._ He sighed, giving in. "Fine, you're right, he's adorable. What are you going to do with him?"

Cas snuggled his face into the kitten's fur. "I'm going to love him and care for him, obviously. I'm going to have to name him at some point, too, and I expect your help with that, Winchester."

Dean chuckled, "You know I'll help, Cas, but I meant what are you going to do with him _today_? You brought a kitten to school, how do you plan on keeping him hidden from the teachers?"

"... ahhh... See, about that..."

"Cas, you _do_ have a plan, right? You thought this out _before_ you brought a tiny kitten to a school full of loud, violent teenagers?"

Cas smiled abashedly, tongue fiddling with his lip ring absentmindedly. Dean was never really sure how he felt about that particular piercing. "I'll figure something out, Dean, don't worry! I'm not gonna let him get hurt."

Dean ran his hand through his hair. "Okay, so, ignoring how irresponsible this was of you and how well that bodes for you actually _c_ _aring for_ this kitten, let's figure something out." A pause while Dean thought, Cas watching with a hopeful expression. "I guess we could try-"

"Hey, nerd!" A portly boy with beady eyes said cheerfully, strolling towards them. "Still hanging out with your punk-ass boyfriend?"

Cas' eyes turned cold. "Fuck off, Zachariah."

"Ooh, that hurts," Zachariah rolled his eyes and chuckled. "What an original comeback by our school's resident genius. Unfortunately, I'm not here for you, although," his eyes scanned Cas from top to bottom, zeroing in on every piercing and black stitch, "you don't know how truly _easy_ that would be." He sighed mockingly. "No, I'm here for your four-eyed friend."

Dean shrunk back as Zach's cold eyes refocused on him. The bully never really left any physical marks on his victims, much preferring the mental trauma he could inflict. It was deeper, lasted much longer, and there wasn't any proof to show to a teacher or parent. At least three kids had to go to therapy every year because of him. Dean was still trying to forget the last time Zach had cornered him in the hallway. "Please go away," he said quietly.

"Aww, is the little geek scared?" Zachariah mocked.

"I swear Zach, get the hell away from us before I hurt you." Cas growled.

Dean tugged on Cas' sleeve, "Cas, let's just go, please." He implored softly.

"Yeah, _Cas_ ," Zach taunted. "Go run away with your boy toy like the coward we all know you really are. Or, better yet," his smile turned feral, "leave him here with me when you chicken out."

"No, Dean," Cas' blue eyes were icy as he glared at Zach, completely ignoring his jabs. "I saw how you were after last time. Fuck, you're just starting to get over it and it was weeks ago! This guy fucked with your head and he needs to pay for it."

"Is that a threat? Well, you know what they say, goth freak," Zach grinned, "don't make promises you can't keep. Especially in front of your sorry excuse of a boyfriend. I wonder what would happen to him if you were...out of commission. We all know _I'm_ not the worst one at this school. Maybe I'll let Alastair take him for a spin, doesn't that sound fun?"

Cas turned adroitly to Dean, setting the kitten in the other boys hands. "Please hold my kitten while I kick this guy's ass."

Dean held the kitten in his cupped hands, shoulders dropping slightly. "Cas," he nearly whispered, eyes wide and pleading. "You've been in way too many fights this year. The teachers are starting to get fed up with you- you could be suspended or something! He's not worth this. _I_ _'m_ not worth this." His eyes dropped to the scuffed titles underneath them.

Cas' rested his hand on the back of Dean's neck. "Dean, look at me." He whispered.

Dean slowly looked up at Castiel, green eyes damp with unshed tears. Cas leaned forward and rested their foreheads together, his hand gently keeping Dean in place.

"You're right, _he_ isn't worth this. But Dean, don't you _ever_ think that you aren't worthy of _anything_ ," Castiel said, voice still quiet but strong as steel, blue eyes locking with green. "You are the kindest person I have ever met in my entire life. You are intelligent beyond belief, probably smarter than anyone at this shitty hell hole they call a school. You are loyal to a fault, and have sacrificed so damn much for everyone you care about. You feel everything so deeply and you never know how to deal with any of it, but you never hesitate to help out anyone else who's struggling. You are worth so, so much, and you don't see it. You can't see it, and Dean," Cas nearly sighed, "it kills me. It hurts me so much that you can't see that. You are worth _everything_. At least to me."

"Are you asking him to tell your parents you love them?" Zach sneered impatiently. "If you're done saying your final goodbye to the dork, I'm ready to kick some emo ass. Hurry the hell up."

Cas' hand squeezed the back of Dean's neck, foreheads still touching. Dean's eyes were shining at him, full of embarrassment, shock, and what Cas sincerely wished was hope. He'd been wishing for that for too long now.

Cas stood up straight and turned towards the bully. "Okay, Zach, I'm ready. Let's make this quick, shall we? I'm sure you've heard about my former 'altercations', but don't you worry," Cas said sweetly, tossing his jacket to the side, baring his arms, covered in tattoos from the bottom of his t-shirt sleeves to his wrists and rolling his shoulders, "it'll be much worse for you." He growled, eyes narrowed to nearly slits.

Zach's eyes widened, but he quickly regained his increasingly shaky composure. "Oh, really? I'll be sure to keep that in mind when I kick your ass."

Cas laughed, the sound rolling like thunder, low and without humor. He started walking slowly towards Zach.

Zach blanched, but stood his ground.

* * *

It hadn't been anywhere close to a fair fight. Zach had gotten in a few good hits near the beginning, but Cas had quickly put a stop to that. Dean had stood off to the side, holding the kitten and still trying to process what Cas had said, hoping beyond hope that he meant what Dean wanted him to mean. By the time he shook himself back to reality, the fight was over. Zachariah was on the floor clutching his nose, blood pouring out from between his fingers while his eye started to purple. Cas stood over him, a few cuts on his face, but otherwise unscathed.

"Here's the deal, Zach," Cas said pleasantly. "You everyone you got those injuries from falling down the stairs, I won't tell anyone that I kicked your ass. Sound good?"

"Like I want anyone to know I got beat up by a damn punk like you," Zach spat out thickly.

"Good." Cas crouched next to the other boy. "And let's get one thing absolutely clear, Zachariah. Do. Not. Touch. Dean. Winchester."

Zach scoffed, "What, is he your boyfriend?" Dean couldn't see Cas' face from where he was standing, but he must have made some kind of interesting expression because Zach paled and immediately backed off. "Yeah, yeah, okay, fine, no touching Winchester, got it."

"Perfect." Cas smiled pleasantly. He stood up and walked back over to Dean, shoulders tight like he was bracing himself for something. He came to stand directly in front of Dean, looking up at the taller boy. "Hello Dean." He said quietly.

"Hey Cas," Dean whispered. They looked at each other, both simply staring until Dean's eyes wandered from Cas' intense focus and saw the cuts on the punk's face were bleeding. "C'mon, let's go to the nurse." He said softly, gently taking Cas' wrist and starting to pull him towards the nurse's office, other hand still holding the kitten safely.

Being the great school it was, the nurse wasn't actually _in_ the nurse's office once they got there. Dean made Cas sit on the examination table anyway, handing him the kitten carefully before turning around and grabbing the bottle of disinfectant and a cotton ball. He turned and sat on the nurse's chair, wheeling it up next to Cas' perch.

"This is gonna sting a little, okay?" Dean said softly, looking up at the other boy. At Cas' nod, he started dabbing at the cuts gently.

Cas closed his eyes, letting Dean take care of him. He felt the light sting of the antiseptic, but it was balanced out by Dean's careful ministrations. After a bit, he heard the rustling of band-aids being opened and felt them stick on his face, then nothing. He opened his eyes to see Dean's head was bowed, hands laid in his lap.

"Dean?" He asked tentatively. "Are you alright?"

"I, uh, I don't know, Cas," Dean whispered. He glanced up, quickly looking back down at his lap. In that small second, Cas could see the slight shimmer of tears.

"Is this about what I said before the fight?" Cas' tone was soft and slightly sad. "Because if it made you uncomfortable we can just...totally forget about it." He pulled in a shaky breath. "If you want to."

"I'm just, I'm not sure," Dean's next words were barely discernible, "I'm not sure if you mean what I really want you to mean."

"Come on, Dean, look at me," he coaxed gently, lifting Dean's chin with a finger. His hand slid to cup Dean's cheek, thumb swiping gently back and forth on his cheekbone, catching the single tear that had started to roll down his face. "I know you have trouble believing people, and I know if I don't say this very bluntly, you'll probably take it to mean something I didn't actually say."

Dean opened his mouth to try and protest, but was stopped by the other boy's raised eyebrow. He squeezed his eyes closed for a second before letting out a short huff of breath, silently agreeing with him. He reopened his eyes and focused on Cas, choosing to stay silent. Based on his current mental state, the other alternative seemed to be bursting into tears. Silence just seemed safer for some reason.

Once he was sure Dean wasn't going to interrupt him, Cas continued, leveling a hard stare at him. "I am reminding you, if it makes you at all uncomfortable, you have a free pass to ignore everything I am about to say. If you want to forget it, I will drop it. It'll be the fucking hardest thing I've ever done but I _will_ do it." After receiving a nod from Dean, he took a breath to steady himself. "Dean, you mean everything to me. You are everything I said before, and so much more than I could ever say. You've been there for me whenever I needed someone, whether I knew I needed someone or not. You are smart, nerdy, sweet, stupidly trusting, unbelievably forgiving, stubborn as shit, and, damn it, fucking infuriating sometimes," His voiced dropped to barely above a whisper, and his head fell to rest against Dean's, foreheads resting against each other's, mirroring their positions from earlier. "And I love it. I love all of it. I love _you_ , Dean Winchester."

Dean leaned into Cas' hand, letting him wipe away the tears that were falling thick and fast. "Cas," he tried, looking into uncertain blue eyes through his eyelashes. He had to stop himself with a deep breath before trying again, words as soft as the kitten Cas was still cradling. "Cas, I've been in love with you since you got your dumb lip ring. I've loved you since you got your first stupid tattoo." He breathed out a chuckle, looking down again. "I don't even know how long I've been in love with you. You're smart even though you don't even try to study, you get tattoos because _you_ want them even though everyone else thinks it's just to spite your parents, you wear a leather jacket just because you think it makes you look cool, and you," he giggled nearly hysterically. "Cas, you brought a damn kitten to a war zone disguised as a high school." His gaze met the other boy's, seeing tears gathering in the corners of the sky blue. He took another breath. "I love you, too, Castiel Novak." Dean whispered. "I've loved you for so long and I've been so scared."

Cas gently placed the kitten in Dean's lap, bringing his now-free hand up to cup the other side of Dean's face, thumbs wiping away tears. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, kissing Dean gently on the forehead.

Dean gasped through his tears. "I've been so scared to tell you, I just... You're my best friend, and..." he couldn't get out a full sentence, overwhelmed by the shock and sudden exhausting, overwhelming _relief_ after all these years.

Cas gently tilted Dean's head up, searching his eyes cautiously. "Are you okay? Is...is this okay?"

Dean choked out a sob, green eyes glittering with happiness through his tears. " _Yes,_ Cas."

Cas pulled Dean forward, being careful to not disturb the kitten, holding Dean against his chest. "It's okay, Dean," he whispered, softly running his fingers through his short blond hair, surprisingly velvety for all it's spikiness. Dean clutched at Cas' t shirt, his tears soaking the material, worn soft through years of washing, Cas held the other boy through his sobs. "Shh, I know, I know, it's okay, you're okay, you're fine, I'm here," he mumbled soothing phrases until the shaking subsided. He let Dean stay in his embrace for as long as he wanted, enjoying the feeling of the boy in his arms, even though he would have preferred it when they weren't both sniffly and trembling from crying.

Dean finally pulled back, Cas' hands immediately going to cup his cheeks. Dean blushed a little, embarrassed at his outburst, but Cas didn't seem to mind.

"You alright?" he peered into green eyes, trying to gauge Dean's mental status.

Dean nodded shyly, a few more tears slipping out. "Sorry, it was just a little much. I'm done now."

"Are you sure?" Cas wiped the tears away with his thumb, Dean closing his eyes and humming softly as he leaned into it.

"Yeah, Cas," he assured the punk. "I'm fine. Just a little drained after all that."

Seeing Dean truly was okay, Cas cocked an eyebrow, "I take it these were tears of joy, then? Man, I gotta say, I've never had someone literally _cry_ out of joy when I asked them out before."

Dean rolled his eyes, pulling away from Cas' gentle hands and wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater. "Jeez, Cas, way to ruin the moment."

"You wouldn't have me any other way." Cas smiled, waggling his eyebrows insanely.

"You've been spending to much time with Gabriel." Dean muttered, lifting the kitten out of his lap and scratching behind it's tiny ears. He smiled softly at it's purring, talking to it in a soothing tone, "Oh yeah, you'll meet Gabriel soon, kitty. You'll hate him." He chuckled. "If you see a neon pink tank top anywhere in that house, shred it for me, okay? It's been a long time coming." His eyes were gentle, voice smooth, as he asked Cas, "Have you thought of a name for him yet?"

He was met with silence. He looked up questioningly, only to realize he was the focus of soft periwinkle eyes and a gentle smile, one that had always been reserved just for him. "How about," Cas suggested, "I name him Dean?"

Dean blushed crimson. "You can't name him that!" He squeaked.

Cas laughed, hand once again returning to Dean's face as he closed the gap between them. "Why not?" he whispered, cool breath blowing across Dean's lips. "You have matching eyes. Plus," he drew closer. Dean closed his eyes and felt the next words being murmured against his lips. "You're too fucking cute when you're all embarrassed."

The kiss was soft, Cas' lip ring barely pressing into Dean's lip. The cool metal was an odd feeling, but somewhere in his mind he had an odd realization that he liked it. Huh.

They pulled apart, both opening their eyes only to stare into the others'.

"Cas?" Dean whispered.

"Yes, Dean?"

"Why do you keep touching my face? It's freakin' weird dude."

Cas rolled his eyes and laughed, removing his hand from Dean's face. "Well, geez," he said sarcastically, still chuckling. "I'm so sorry that I want to touch the face of the guy I've had a crush on for most of my life. That's totally my bad, I'll be sure to fix that."

Dean felt the heat rush to his face and ducked his head. "Well," he mumbled. "yeah, do that, but you know... Every once in a while is fine."

Cas gently tilted Dean's head up. "Every once in a while, huh?"

"Yeah." He avoided Cas' eyes. "Just, like... you know," he blew out a sigh, his own emotional tangle frustrating him. He chose to bury his face in kitten fur rather than answer.

Cas smiled softly at Dean's use of cuteness to avoid emotional talk. He chose to ignore the muffled grumble that sounded suspiciously like, "chick flick moment shit", instead reaching up and running his fingers through Dean's hair. Dean stopped mumbling profanities into soft fur.

Suddenly, the kitten turned around and licked his nose, Dean scrunching it up as he felt the sandpaper tongue.

Castiel laughed quietly at his two favorite things in the world as they stared at each other.

He was totally naming the kitten Dean.


End file.
